By Lisa Manley
As a cancer survivor I received a lot of cards and well wishes during the time I was being treated and in recovery. Every single thought and well wish made a difference in my daily mood or well after I was better. Three years after my last treatment I can name the people who sent a card or dropped off a meal. Many of these people, I did not know well and do not communicate with on a usual basis. I think of those people and consider them little angels in the world. On the other hand some of my closest friends and family members seemingly disappeared. At the time of treatment I did not notice. I was busy going through treatment, surgery and recovery to think about it. I had my mom, sister, brother, dad, husband and countless others holding my hand.
A year or so after my last chemo treatment, I did start to become aware of people who had been absent in my life. I wondered why I had never heard from them. It eventually became clear to me through my own experience. I had heard of an old friend whose sister was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. I thought to myself how awful, but never sent a note. I did not know what to say. I thought of her almost daily. Until I read in the local Newspaper she had passed away. I missed the opportunity to let her know I cared. I believe dealing with another persons illness points out our fears of loss, grief and even joy. As a cancer survivor I can say sending a note does make a difference. Do not worry about what to say. It really is the card that counts.
Here are some tips. Send a card at the milestones of treatment. Milestones include: the first day of chemotherapy, the middle of treatment, the end of chemo. Do not forget those people going through radiation as well. I had one friend who sent a card every week for six weeks of my radiation. I still smile at her thoughtfulness. Surgery is very scary and a card before surgery is great along with one during recovery. Do not worry about sending the card to the hospital. Send the card to the house it is nice to have cards waiting for you at home. Remember cancer treatment can be long and drawn out. Many people are in treatment for a year or longer. Send a card to check in months into treatment.
What to say, is what stops many people from sending a note. Do not worry. Let the card say it and just sign the card. Sending a card lets the person know you are thinking of them and that is enough. Also, do not worry about sending a humorous card either. People need humor during cancer treatment. If the person going through treatment is a funny person, send a funny card. If the person is more serious, send a simple greeting. Bottom line do not miss the opportunity to let someone know you are thinking about them, send a note.